Friday, September 7, 2012

Kibeth Update :(

I'm very sorry to say that while the incontinence has dissipated, Kibeth is not doing well.

She reacted very strongly to the steroids, so we have weaned her off of them.  They didn't help in the slightest, so it was pointless to continue giving them to her.  They made her pee in the house for the first time since we adopted her, and it was like she had a UTI all over again.  She needed to go out every 2-3 hours, drinking like a maniac.

She can't stand as long, can't walk too far, can't play as much, and is laying down more frequently.  She still eats, drinks, and does her thing outside.

However, she has started to look depressed on occasion.  It's not always, and a little play session will bring her out of it instantly.  Although, this week, there were a couple times I threw her favorite blue fluff ball, and she didn't pursue it, despite some interest.

And now, I've discovered a sore spot on her hock where she has licked it raw -- to the point it is bleeding.  I assume (and my vet did not correct me) that this is from the tingling due to nerve damage, and they try to make it feel better by licking it.  Some will be so determined to make it stop, it develops into self-mutilation.

With the episodes of incontince last month, even surgery is not going to give her a good prognosis.  Surgery is risky anyway -- it's spinal surgery.  She could come out of it paralyzed, dead...

Kibeth is a horrible patient, always has been.  Doesn't matter who you are, she WILL bite your face off if you touch her booboos.  I can't imagine treating her little sore, let alone recovering from spinal surgery.  What am I going to do, put a cone on her for the rest of her life?  Will that even stop her tongue from reaching her hock?  I can't put a dressing on a hock, she'll eat it off.  I can't just put Neosporin on it, she'll lick it off.  And there's nothing to say she won't just keep licking somewhere else...

Despite the brave and mostly happy face she puts on every day, she's clearly in distress.

I had made an appointment on Wednesday for our vet to evaluate her pain tomorrow at 11:40.  I emailed him again last night...

I've decided if he agrees she is in considerable pain, I am going to put her to sleep tomorrow.

My heart is breaking.  She tries so hard to be happy, she still likes to do things, her body just won't let her.  I can't wait until the LS robs her of all her joy before deciding enough is enough.  I just hope this is the right thing.  I hope it's peaceful, and painless, and easy, and gives her relief -- none of the pain medications have.  She's ON tramadol and gabapentin + Joint Max, still no improvement -- how much pain must that be?

What a cruel disease.

ETA:  Tonight, LS took away play.  Dolce invited Kibeth to a game of tug like he always does, and she always enjoys it.  Just now, though, when he tried to tug with her, she dropped it and yelled at him. She was screaming, "Don't do that!  It hurts!" and he left her alone.

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